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Everything is Different Now
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Hey gang, this is a totally funny thing that Ryan wrote.  You know he's from a really small town called Peebles, right?  Well I guess his High School broke away from its school district or something.  Then it made its own school district, which is totally cool, I think. 
 
I don't really understand this, but it is pretty funny.

peeblessign.jpg

Everything is different now.  Peebles has successfully seceded from the Adams County School District, and we can little comprehend the great change this will effect upon our lives.  I will repeat, for emphasis:

 

Everything is different now.

 

We must focus on the future.  First order of business is to choose a leadership council for the new Peebles District.  This council must maintain strong ties with neighboring villages.  Ambassadors should be sent to West Union, Seaman, and other towns, to assure that we mean them no harm.  We must erect Peebles Embassies in these far away lands. 

 

Peebles has always, and will always, live in peace with her neighbors. 

 

Though we Peebelians love peace, we are also cautious and alert.  In addition to diplomatic readiness, we ought to raise a small defensive force, or a standing militia.  This way, if the peace-loving citizens of Peebles are ever threatened, we will be at the ready. 

 

We must also establish an open trade policy with neighboring townships.  Our import and export tariffs must remain low, to assure an easy exchange of goods and services. 

 

However, we must establish economic independence from the rest of Adams County. I propose that we burn all of our dollar bills and melt down our nickels and dimes.  In their place, we should establish a new currency, the "Peeble," which will be good only within our borders.  Twenty thousand Peebles will roughly equal a quarter, depending on the strength of the Euro.

 

Also, we should begin driving on the left side of the road and change to a slimmer railroad gauge.  This way, whenever rail cars or commerce trucks enter our borders, they need to transfer their goods to another vehicle, subjecting the cargo to taxation and inspection by our Customs Agency. 

 

But all that stuff is boring, and we'll leave it up to the Council.  The important thing is that you remember this:

 

Everything is different now.

 

In time, our civilization may drastically diverge from the rest of the county.  A strong, continued policy of isolationism could alter our genetic evolution.  Perhaps someday Peebelians will not masticate and digest their food, as humans do, but will instead unhinge our mandibles and swallow our prey whole.  Then, like a snake, we will slowly digest it over a period of weeks.

 

Who can say what lies ahead for the people of Peebles, circa 2099?  Perhaps we won't be born of our mothers' wombs, but will instead hatch from pods high in trees.  Our technology may well advance beyond the rest of the county's, or it may regress into the dark ages.  We don't know; this is a very exciting time for us.

 

Eventually, Peebelians will do away with the English language.  We will develop our own tongue, which I will call "Peebeleese."  Peebeleese will be spoken in our churches and taught in our schools.  Someday, our children's children will forget there every was a such thing as an "Adams County School District." 

 

I thing the expression that sums it up best is: "Doul ektu veruta."  That's Peebeleese for, "Everything is different now."