|
J. Edgar Hoover
"This Ryan Arey boy is so funny, I'm gonna spare his life when my consortium of martian bankers, frozen popes, robots,
horses, prohibitionists, and cyborg ex-presidents take control of this planet. Hip-hip for Ryan!"
Neil Armstrong
"Ryan once said there was no moon landing and that I'm a fraud. Okay Ryan, do you want to know the real
truth, that they don't want you to know? Here it is: not only was there never a moon landing, but there
was never a moon."
John F. Kennedy
"Ryan once made me laugh so hard, I blew milk out of the hole in my head."
Gavrilo Princip
At last, Serbia is free from the clutches of Austria. Long live the Black Hand! Ryan says I caused the
Great War, but he's lying. Germany caused the Great War. Read their Constitution; it says so in there.
Frozen Head Hitler
This icebox is being
mongrelized by Jew ice creams, such as Neapolitan. Vanilla shall not share a container with chocolate and
strawberry! Nazi Pops are made of pure milk and sugar, not "Jew ingredients,"
such as Yellow 5! Tiny Jew shovenhaus! Jew!
Snuggle Bear
I love Ryan! Even in the days to come, when mothers will be set against sons and fire will consume the lands, and pestilence
and the blood of heretics will choke the oceans and streams, his clothes will be snuggley-soft because he uses Snuggle Fabric
Softener.
Ted Williams
"Yeah, Ryan's pretty damn funny, but I'm not part of the US Shadow Conspiracy of whatever. Just because my head
is frozen doesn't mean I'm with these guys. We're not even in the same freezer. I'm in a big old American
GE deep freeze; those guys are in some pissant Jap crap."
Elvis Presely
"Ryan, I want you to open for me at my first comeback show. First, I just gotta escape from this Human Zoo at
the Never-Never Land Ranch. Colonel, if you're reading this, the King's dying for a ribeye and a bottle of yellowjackets."
Elvis' Alien Baby
Hey there baby, how you doing?
Ryan, you're so funny, I'm gonna buy you a Space-Cadillac. Then I'm going to pass through an oviposter through your
throat and hatch from your chest. Hail to the Tiny Alien King, baby.
Evil Twin Gandhi
I have worked feverishly for many years to unmake my late twin brother's goals of world peace. Under
my watchful eye, we live in an age of unchecked nuclear proliferation and corporate imperialism.
Yes, it is I who manipulates the machine of man's greed, all to fuel my still-burning rivalry with my
dead brother. I only regret that the tattletale didn't live long enough to see my triumph.
And Ryan Arey is very funny, too.
Madeline Albright
"I never found Ryan particularly funny, but I will say that he was a tender, eager, and responsive lover."
|
