Dear Mr. Gulley:
I am a frequent customer of your video store, Dollar Town. Though the service at this establishment is first rate, and your burgeoning DVD collection gains strength
weekly, I have a grievance with your video selection.
Last week I visited your rental outlet, in hopes of finding a classic feature
film, in the tradition of Citizen Kane or Fellinis 8 ½. Instead
I was greeted with disappointment. While browsing your comedy section, I discovered
a grievous wrongdoing. Are you aware that, though you carry Beethoven's
3rd and Beethoven's 4th, your store does not have Beethoven or Beethoven's 2nd? You may now cast down your eyes in shame.
How is one to appreciate the nuances of the Beethoven series if not
afforded the chance to see the beginning of the saga? None of these films, with
the exception of the first, is made to stand alone. Each is merely a link in
the chain, one tied to another. The character of Beethoven is more richly explored
in the first two episodes, while the final half of his story deals more with societal issues, such as human exploration, discipline,
and the pursuit of wealth.
Consider the bittersweet relationship between Beethoven and George Newton (Charles
Grodin) in the first film. Here we see two extremes: man's love of authority
and nature's pursuit of pleasure, brought to a head under one roof. The cast
of this film is rich and textured, with an Oscar-caliber performance by Grodin. Here
we see that Beethoven is not simply an annoyance to humanity, but a reflection of it.
In the second film, we explore the themes of love and obsession. You may remember that in this film, Beethoven has several clandestine trysts with a female St. Bernard
(or is that Saint Bernadette?) named Missy. After nature takes its course, the
Newtons are granted a gift: four rambunctious young pups that have inherited their dad's reckless nature. Imagine the psychological impact of four little Beethovens on George Newton's tenuous hold on sanity. What ensues is the age-old struggle between the young and the old, as Grodin attempts
to assimilate the four newcomers into his house, much as he once begrudgingly welcomed Beethoven to the fold. This is arguably the greatest of the Beethoven series, exploring the nature of man and beast, and the passage
of the generations.
But your video store would have
us believe that these wonderful, poignant stories never occurred. No, you would
have us simply "skip" to third chapter of the Beethoven Saga, which, though thematically rich, lack the soul, depth and flavor
of Beethoven and Beethoven's 2nd.
In the third film, the audience is dumbfounded when George Newton's brother,
Richard (Judge Reinhold), receives a large crate, from the Grodin character. "Why
has George sent his brother this large crate?" asks the audience. "What is in
this large crate?" And, most importantly, "What does all of this have to do with
Beethoven?" When, moments later, Beethoven bounds from the large crate, the audience
is surprised and overjoyed! However, this is because we have prior knowledge
of the character. One could not immediately sympathize with this slobbering,
ill-mannered, massive canine without having already seen his trials and tribulations with a different set of Newtons.
What ensues is a wonderful story, with Richard and his family setting out on
the road, with the troublesome animal in tow. Beethoven explores much of the
American landscape, from our parks and cities to a haunted western town. Like
his brother, Richard Newton comes to first tolerate, then to love, Beethoven. Yet,
how could the audience be aware of this common thread of understanding without knowledge of Grodin's prior experiences?
And the fourth film, a modern, "dogged" take on Twain's "The Prince and the
Pauper," is praiseworthy as well, but is hardly a stand-alone affair. In it,
we see the recklessness of Beethoven as he traverses class boundaries. Still,
the character of Beethoven lacks the complexity of the earlier films. In later
episodes, the human players take center stage, and we are more interested in their reactions to Beethoven, rather than
the feelings of the lovable beast himself.
In conclusion, sir, your video store is an outright disgrace. Your failure to carry all four chapters of the Beethoven chronicle speaks ill of you, and your tastes. Yes, these films have their place in the rich tapestry of the Beethoven epoch. But without the prior to episodes to lean upon, they are merely withdrawn, aimless
tales of a fat slobbering mongrel that ought to be put to sleep, rather than adored.
Please consider the purchase of Beethoven and Beethoven's 2nd
for your video rental store. By doing this, you will attract a higher class of
clientele. Fine minds are attracted by fine art.
I await your reply.
Sincerely,
Ryan Arey
