SAN FRANCISCO, Ca--Barry Bonds mutated into a nine foot tall, thousand pound monster during the eighth inning of last night's Diamondbacks vs. Giants game.  The incident is fueling speculation that Bonds may be taking steroids. 

The mutation occurred after Arizona pitcher Curt Schilling intentionally walked Bonds for the fourth time that evening.  Refusing to take his base, Bonds stood stoically at home plate and declared, "Getting walked makes me angry.  And you wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

The 45,000 fans at Pacific Bell Park were then horrified, as Bonds grew two meters in height and spawned new muscles, tearing his uniform to shreds.  The Bonds Monster's roar was so deafening it shattering windows for blocks around.

The outfielder then declared, "Roarrrrrr!  Bonds hate Schilling!  Bonds smash puny Schilling's puny change up!"  Bonds then charged the mound and crushed the D-Backs ace in the palms of his gigantic, pulsing hands.  After tossing aside the pulpy carcass of Curt Schilling, Bonds turned his attention to the rest of the Arizona line up, running about the field and devouring the flesh of Junior Spivey and Luis Gonzalez. 

Finding no more prey to eat, Bonds then turned on his home ballpark, tearing out the bleachers and flinging fleeing spectators thousands of feet into the sea.  The stadium, which took 18 months to build, was destroyed in minutes. 

Bonds then went on a rampage, destroying much of the San Francisco skyline and the Golden Gate Bridge.  "Rarrrrr!" said Bonds, "Puny city and its puny queers!"  He later added, "Smash queers!"

The Air Force flew F-14 jets armed with laser-guided tomahawk missiles, attempting to take down the all-star outfielder.  Their efforts were in vain. "His skin was like armor," said Captain Lance Davis, "No wonder he could hit 73 homeruns a season.  What a great ballplayer!" 

The D-Backs' front office has called the mutation incident "unfortunate," but remains optimistic.  "This is a Giants team that can get along without Barry Bonds for the next few days, while he gets all this out of his system.  Go Giants!" 

Though Bonds' sudden metamorphosis was unexpected, some were not surprised.  Leonard Young, of the Detroit Institute of Biology, said, "This was the logical conclusion of Bonds' career.  If you look at photos of him through the years, he got larger and larger each year, suddenly ballooning up in the late '90s.  It's clear that his body was undergoing some sort of terrible, inner change."

Could Bonds be the next step of evolution?   Perhaps the first of a race of super humans?  "I doubt it," Young says, "It's probably because of all the steroids he takes."   

According to a poll taken last year, the majority of baseball fans don't care if the players are taking steroids, as long as the game remains entertaining. Said Giants fan Dennis Worker, of Seaman, "The worst part is, he was really having a great season.  He was on track to beat his own record.  Maybe the Giants could have won it all this year."

As of press time, Bonds' rampage has gone unchecked, causing some $50 billion in damage, and at least a dozen deaths.  The military has been unable to stop his swath of destruction across the country, and every one in the Midwest should fear for their lives.