Dear Representative Bubp,

You ignorant bag of pus. 

It’s bad enough that your constituents have you as a representative, but do we also have to put up with your asinine, horribly written columns every week?  In the name of the Republic man, stop whoring out your exclamation points.  You use them to make every sentence full of fire and thunder, but they come off puny and contrived, like you. 

Sincerely,