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Fight the Fruits

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This letter was written to newly-elected state representative Danny Bubp, whose plaform centered around being pro-God, anti-gay, and anti-abortion.  Even the Cincinnati Enquirer could not endorse him. 

State Representative Danny Bubp

77 S. High St.  11th Floor
Columbus, OH 43215

 

Dear Representative Bubp,

 

I’m very happy you won your seat for the 88th District Rep.  I’m hoping you’ll be the man who finally does something about the homosexual problem we’re having.  I am sick and tired of homosexuals nosing around in my affairs. 

 

You see, there’s a gang of seven or eight homosexuals that prance around my neighborhood, tearing stuff up and making noise.  I used to look out my window and see the little cedar maple my father planted when I was born.  Now all I see are gays, faggots, fruits, queers, and queens.  It’s not fair!

 

The police don’t seem to want to handle it, so I’m glad we finally we have a man with the grit to stand up and fight the fairies.

 

Sincerely,

 

Ryan Arey

 

PS.  My favorite color is green.  What’s your’s?